Yesterday was my last real day of school. I go in for my aurals next Friday & the break-up lunch but for all intents & purposes I am done. Finished. Everything else is icing on the cake. I know some people get teary at moments like this but all I feel is a profound relief. I am so over the travelling. I am over people wanting to chat to me just because I am in bible school & once they were too. Who are these people & why do they think it matters? I just want to get back to being quiet little me in my quiet little duck pond hidden from the world even though I know that is never going to be my reality again. It can't be. *sigh*
I am a straight A student & I'm competitive enough to be chuffed by that. And God doesn't care. No good bouncing up to Him & laying my accreditation at His feet like St George promenading a dead dragon. Nope. School was just a means to an end & now the rubber hits the road because now I have to walk the reality out. *sigh ~ again*
Bible school is not theological college ~ & do you know how many people have lost their faith completely in theological school? Lots & lots. Just as there are scores of ministers in every denomination who have no call on their life but decided ministry was as good a career as any. Peculiar. Why would you want to do this?
And what, you might ask, did you achieve in the end? Was it all worth the angst? The effort? The early morning drives in peak hour traffic & pouring rain? The ennui of going over material I already knew? The frustration of waiting for others to catch on to what seemed obvious to me? What exactly did I learn?
Firstly I was reminded of the kindness of Christ. Lucky me. I've known the Lord for years. I have a reasonably good brain. I read widely ~ & I can dissect what I read. This does not give me any right to ride rough~shod over others who may not be so blessed, who have a simpler understanding of the things of the spirit, or to become frustrated because my *needs* are not being met in church. Argh! It is to the "least of these" first. After all, if I am that capable then I have far less need of being ministered to & should rather be ministering. Obvious? I never claimed to be people savvy.
The other two things that stand out are to do with the ministry I am called to. And it is interesting because it ties in with the rest of my walk: Simplicity. One doesn't have to be erudite to get Christ's message out there. Indeed probably much better not. Plainness & simplicity of speech, directness of approach; this is powerful. I can't believe the impact this has but I see it worked out again & again. Alongside this is authority. This one has gob~smacked me. I know without a shadow of doubt that Christ's authority is in my speech. I know when it's just me too. ☺ When I speak with authority it carries great power. God power. It changes lives. It impacts. God is in the business of changing lives; of setting captives free. And that gives me joy. I love seeing God's word enter into a person & release His power into their lives. Rhema has taught me how to do that. On my own it was never going to happen. I'm too much the student but once I grasped the Word is a tool to be applied & used something changed in the way I preached & with that change came proclamation authority.
I am hoping to take time this week for prayer, fasting & seeking the Lord but as always this is not a restful house. We have lots going on again & having Libby home has not improved that situation. Cait is singing. I have a house in serious need of attention. Life moves on. I must hurry to catch up.